Hi SOUL Hi! Lovianhal!
How you? I’m glad you’re here. I’m here too! I love you.
First and foremost, I just realized a Star Sis has written 200 StarsNotes since what? 2019? My Goddess today! If this were a TV series, (and we were pre-streaming) I’d be in syndication and collecting 200 episodes worth of syndication checks! Aye! 🪭🪭🪭🪭 Can you believe we’ve been on this intentional spiritual literacy journey together for nearly 7 years? Yay us! Yay you!
Speaking of, earlier this week I celebrated National Radio Day with many of my radio compadres. Can you believe I’ve been in radio for over 20 years? I hadn’t even considered how much of an accomplishment it is to have been in the broadcasting field that I absolutely adore—20 years. I’ve always considered it a blessing, but hadn’t let the accomplishment aspect of the milestone to sink in. Until. I started revisiting some of my early work in radio.
Did you know I started my Philadelphia radio career on a radio dating show? It’s true. I met Colby Colb at an event and told him I was looking for a man. I cannot confirm or deny that I was actually looking for a man, but that on air episode turned out to be one of the most listened to episodes of the “Single in the City” segment history. Colby liked my voice and my vibe and invited me to co-host a slow jams show every other Thursday with Philly radio icon DC Todd. Colby was a new Program Director of what was 103.9 The Beat and was looking to shake up the airwaves. It was DC who suggested that I put my hat in the ring to be considered for one of the open slots—Middays. At the time I had an event team called Eye Candy Brand (that’s a whole other story for another day). I almost didn’t call Colb at all. I didn’t think I had the juice. I’d done radio in college and had been a national personality via The XFL and hosted live music events, but Philly radio at the time was iconic and I didn’t know if I could hold all that sauce.
I was petrified to make a simple phone call and leave an audacious message. I remember being at Coyote Ugly Philly in rehearsal. I vaguely remember dialing numbers. I vaguely remember the message I left. It was something like—“Hey Colb, it’s Envy. DC said you were looking for someone for Middays. Put me on the air for a week and let me know you what I can do.” That call was certainly audacious. Melanacious—if we consider Black Woman + melanin.
It was less than a week later, at rehearsal, that I got the call back. Colby had agreed to audition me for a week on air. But the gag was that it wouldn’t be for the Middday day part. It would be for Afternoon Drive. You know, the part of the day in radio second only to Mornings?! In the 4th largest market in the country. That kind of opportunity was unheard of. I’m sure I screamed. I’m sure I had no idea the break that had cracked open my whole career trajectory. My whole world. I’d like say, “the rest is history”, but there are over 20 years between then and now that will fill up a book. That I finally begun the process of researching to write, mind you.
The StarsNotes of this experience, for brevity purposes, is that I got to be a part of Philadelphia’s radio legacy specifically and the legacy of radio in general from that point forward. From creating, hosting and co-producing the only Hip Hop talk show in the world for 18-35 year olds—at a time when young melanated people weren’t considered a viable voting block. I was nominated for and won more A.I.R. Awards in one year than anybody at the station at the time. My talk show was featured on flipping HBO. And more. So so so much more.
In the mid to late 2000s, I was doing the kind of radio only I could do. I carved out my own lane and have been riding on it ever since. I didn’t think of myself as a trailblazer. I felt like I was bumping up against every wall in radio there was. And all the while, I danced around with the idea of needing to be humble.
Now. Every word in the above few paragraphs was a struggle for me to acknowledge before. These accomplishments aren’t new. I lived them in real time. I crossed the award stage to collect my trophies and said profound words over a PA system that garnered applause. I was in the same room with HBO cameras and the likes of Black Thought, Ursula Rucker, Greg Corbin and Josh Bennett. I watched my own face and heard my own voice on the TV when the episode aired. I was there for every moment and accolade. I held my dreams and aspirations in shaking hands and cried silently when people outside of me told me told me, persistently, to BE HUMBLE. And sit down. “That’s great”, they’d say in essence, “but you ain’t really nobody”. And if I didn’t cow and sit down, I was humbled. Cause whatever melanacity I did have at the time, wasn’t backed up with power.
I was in conversation this past Sunday with two other practitioners from my Church (Mr. Ed and Ms. Myrna). As random as anyone could, Mr. Ed told us the story of how he got gently cussed out for using the word humble in a prayer he had given. I was gagged by this. It really is too much to type here, but the synthesis of our conversation was that human trafficked Africans were subjugated, brutalized and humiliated into the idea of humility in order to be better at servitude. Humble was about being less than the people who oppressed us—so we wouldn’t get any elevated ideas about the humble places they put us. That’s where all that “uppity” nonsense came from. That’s why they burned down our thriving villages and towns. That’s why they murdered our most charismatic leaders. That’s why we have been so feared and revered. Being “Humble” was how we were placed underfoot. How we survived the genocide. How we stayed in our place. Humble is the genesis of respectability.
And it took that conversation and reflecting on 20 years in a medium, nay, a vocation that I have loved for far longer—to realize I had a bag of programming to unpack. That I had been domesticated into thinking that promoting myself, promoting my work with joy and pride of my many accomplishments, somehow made me corny and crass. That being “humble” would keep me safe. That doing all this good work with my head down and moving on to the next thing, until maybe I was “discovered” somehow made me noble.
And when I realized what I had done, what I had been tricked to do to be palatable to people who profited from my “humility”, I deep sighed and boohoo cried…
We do have much to talk through tonight on TEMS as we continue our month-long discussion about BEing HEIR— Happily Elevated, Illuminated, Regal.
Tonight’s Starfolk University staff:
Bridge’tte Stargate—Dean of Spiritual Midwifery
Kitakiya— Dean of Art, Artistry and Creative Expression
Dr. Fearless—Dean of African Diasporic Studies
Maria Kliavkoff—Dean of Healthy Mourning
Dr. Carol Penn—Dean of Spiritual Legacy
and I think Dr. Phil is rolling through fresh from Kemet.
Of course, Jordan is in the WuWu Metaphysical Studio with me, so Join us tonight 7-10p on WURD! Bring a journal, pen and 3 frens…
#starfolku #starpeopleish #comegetfree
When I was a kid, I thought I was big enough to have every right to name something out of this world, and then I just started shrinking myself. By the time I met you, I’d already gotten so small. And I thought you knew how big I wanted to be.
–Hippolyta Freeman
Lovecraft Country
You can listen live with this link and/or on the WURD App. We ARE Live on the FB Live OR Twitch too tonight!
Per usual, in EVERY single thing we do, the intention is transformation. And well moisturized legs.
Pssst! This month our #shiftprompt is:
The Art BEing HEIR
Acronym:
Happily
Elevated
Illuminated
Regal
(We are HEIRs to our wildest dreams in consciousness lived in form…)
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The WuWu Metaphysical studio begins Friday night at 7p EST on WURD 96.1FM Philly + The FB LIVE (worldwide). See you then yes? Oh! Bring a joural, a pen and 3 frens! WuWu is best done together. 🙂 #comegetfree
Lovianhal,
-e-
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