Hi SOUL Hi! Lovianhal!
How you? I’m glad you’re here. I’m here too! I love you.
We’ve had a week.
At first, when I finally cleared the cobwebs from my eyes, I just sat in my own energy. Not speaking. Not making declarations. Not having an opinion. There was a deep part of me who was simply at peace. The part of me that knows that I certainly don’t know and WE as a collective body don’t actually know what WE’re looking at. WE don’t. WE can’t. This elephant called the human experience is so flipping big, we literally can only see what’s right in front of us. And sometimes, when all we can see in this world of infinite experiences is ourselves– is where we got it fkd up at.
Hear me out.
Last night, I decided it was finally time to watch the film Origin, by Ava Duvernay. I had wanted to see it in the theatre, but I live in Upstate New York and so that was a whole thing. So many times I contemplated streaming it online, but for whatever reason I just never got around to it. But last night, the film was practically pulling at my threads to watch her finally. It was a beautiful tribute to the book Caste that I absolutely LOVED. But the film didn’t soothe what has been aching within me. It didn’t answer the question I have always been asking about life on this planet and in this particular country. It’s a question I’m not even clear that I have language for. It’s a question about the past, the present and the future–not of “our” democracy or this country even– because… just because.
There is
so much
of OUR blood
in the soil here.
There’s practically an ocean of it just below our feet when we walk to the store to buy groceries.
The pain body of this country specifically, is so thick and rigid
it’s like a second skin
but this skin doesn’t have places to breathe or see out of.
It doesn’t have spaces to hear or make sense of the spoken word
or the laughing of children or the singing of angels.
The pain body looks like a chrysalis
and
it could be
if we could
collectively
just
get through
the goo phase
of our becoming.
But. Before we can even contemplate such things. We have to know where we are. We have to study how we got here. We have to want to.
As a woman.
As a Black woman who carries within her a Black girl who experienced molestation. As a Mother of a burgeoning Black woman who is navigating the complexities of love and relationships, I am intimately aware of what an abusive relationship looks like. It’s complicated. Not because relationships are complicated. But because women are the glue that make relationships (as we think we know them in cis-het brain spaces) possible. It’s so easy to love a shitty man. Because so many of us see good in people who can’t see good in themselves. It’s our gift and our curse to want to spruce things up. To polish turds and inspire prose. When women stop striving and giving and wanting and dreaming and aspiring and visioning and seeing the “good” that exists in people even if it’s covered up by 1,000 pounds of shit– when we stop, relationships end. It’s not always clean. It’s not always sane. It’s not always ease and grace. But it’s true.
We’ve seen women leave and go back to really bad situations on the daily. And we wonder why they not tired…
And so I grapple with that same question within myself about “America”. Since HE was born to the colonizing Euros, HE has always been an abuser. HE has always been an undiagnosed narcissistic, sociopathic, psychopathic, paranoid schizophrenic, adolescent boy. ALWAYS. We have been trying to raise him right since HIS birth, but we forget that he was born from toxic ass parents. He was born submerged in the blood, sweat and tears and serial MURDER of our ancestors. He has never had to atone for his sins. He has never had to face his crimes. Like the Lord of the Flies he thinks he is, he would simply switch things around to suit his inability to face the mirror. He’s a shitty son. With shitty parents that we keep making excuses for. And he keeps beating our ass. And we keep saying he’ll change. He keeps showing us that he won’t. That he can’t. That he don’t want to. And we keep not wanting to ruin his possibility of a bright future for a mere 400 years of arrested development. Gurl.
That question I keep not wanting to find the words for in myself… Am I tired yet? And what does it even mean to answer that question with an emphatic yes? Knowing how bravely our ancestors fought and died and lived so I could be here to write this.
I don’t know where you are. You may not know right now. But this is where I am as we enter our first of 3 FAMILY meetings this month. One thing I am clear about is that we can’t know what’s next if we don’t have a clear understanding of where WE are.
We’ll be unpacking a bunch tonight as we begin our first of a series of FAMILY meetings this month.
Tonight’s Starfolk University staff:
Oneika Mays– Dean of Joyful revolution
Rhonda Wildflower– Dean of Astrological Arts
Mike Shawn– Dean of Humor and Social Etiquette
Bunmi Moses- Dean of Brilliance, Luminosity and the Shamanic Arts
Rudy Jean Louis– Dean of Art Theory
Tavis + Meredith– Deans of Indigenous Education
Dr. Carol Penn– Dean of Spiritual Legacy
Bridge’tte Stargate- Dean of Spiritual Mid Wifery
Freeman Davis- Guest Star!
Of course, Jordan is in the WuWu Metaphysical Studio with me, so Join us tonight 7-10p on WURD! Bring a journal, pen and 3 frens…
#starfolku #starpeopleish #comegetfree
“Caste is insidious and therefore powerful because it is not hatred, it is not necessarily personal. It is the worn grooves of comforting routines and unthinking expectations, patterns of a social order that have been in place for so long that it looks like the natural order of things.”
― Isabel Wilkerson, Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents
Per usual, in EVERY single thing we do, the intention is transformation. And well moisturized legs.
Pssst! This month our #shiftprompt is:
The Art BEing FAMILY
Acronym:
Facing
Authenticity,
Magnifying
Intention
Leading
YOU
(It’s a FAMILY affair)
_________________________________________________
The WuWu Metaphysical studio begins Friday nights at 7p EST on WURD 96.1FM Philly + The FB LIVE (worldwide). See you then yes? Oh! Bring a journal, a pen and 3 frens! WuWu is best done together. If you missed this class, click the link below. 🙂 #comegetfree
Lovianhal,
-e-
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